What's Italian for Alcoholic Water?

Why that would be Peroni of course! Peroni is the lager brewed by, big surprise, Birra Peroni Brewing Company in Rome (although it was founded in Vigevano). Peroni is not distinctive in flavor, color or aroma. Now I went to the Peroni website, but found it was all in Italian! Go figure, right? Luckily I took two semesters of Italian in college, so I'm pretty sure I got the gist of it, and will translate for you, the loyal reader:

"Founded in the mid-19th century, Peroni is an age old Italian beer, filled with tradition, heritage, and water. Strained through dress socks and aged to perfection in a workboot, Peroni gives that essence of the old country. When the time is right, we keep on adding water till you can barely taste the alcohol. This also helps give Peroni it's brilliantly clear look. It has long been rumored that Peroni is actually the liquid inside levelling tools. This is not true. If it were people would continually be breaking levels to get at this sweet nectar, and we could not have that."

Now, of course it's been several years since I've cracked open an Italian book, so this is a loose translation, at best. The Peroni lager is about as good as Tsingtao, or Budweiser, which is to say it's not. Very good that is. Now, it has come to my attention that my review of Tsingtao, may have been a bit harsh, so I hope to give Peroni a little bit fairer review. This beer is only good for a hangover. It's basically what a Bud drinker would drink to make them look classy and international, which of course, they are not. It's thin in color, texture, aroma and, most of all, taste. Now the Peroni Brewing Company is best known for it's pilsner offering, Nastro Azzuro, so maybe the lager is not the best way to judge the brewery, but for now it's all we've got. And based on the Peroni lager, I implore Italians to stick to making pastas and sauces, which is a nice way of saying, "Stick to your day job, Italy!" Final rating: Drinkable if forced or if participating in an Italian beer pong tournament




Bottoms up!