Friday, August 31, 2007

I've Made A Huge Mistake: Miller Chill

Welcome to "I've Made A Huge Mistake," a (hopefully recurring) segment here on Beerjanglin' where we present a beer of somewhat questionable lineage to Nick Dunford, my younger, non-discriminatory brother, and record his thoughts for posterity.

Today's "I've Made A Huge Mistake" - Miller Chill.

This was Nick's fourth beer of the day. Prior to this, he'd slugged down a couple of Budweisers.

Nick, what does it smell like?
"It smells like old socks and lime. It just don't smell good."

Take a sip, tell me what it tastes like.
(Nick took a small sip. He then crinkled his face with one eye closed, possibly for dramatic effect. He then studied bottle and let out a genuine cough.) "Ah, I got nothin'"

(After awhile) "It tastes like Miller Lite with limes. If there's a more pointless combination, I can't think of one."

Try taking a big gulp. Let's make that your next challenge.
"What's the challenge - is it trying to keep it down?"
(He obliges) "Ugh. I think my throat's burning."
(After considering the bottle again)"It's one of the worst ideas in the history of the beer industry. Right up there with Michelob Ultra."

How many of these do you think you'd have to drink to get drunk?
(studies bottle) - "38."

Why 38?
"Well, it's light beer."

(Much later, in describing the beer on the phone to our Editor in Chief)
"It tastes like Mexican tears."

Nick will continue to drink the terrible beers and hold court on them so that you won't have to.


Bill said...

I had Miller Chill a couple times and honestly I thought that it wasn't all that bad. For what it's trying to accomplish (an accessible beer without a massive bite), I thought it was rather successful, as meager as its goal is. The lime was actually a welcome distraction from the adjunct-filled mediocrity that any of those macros usually provide. I'd obviously rather have a craft beer any day, but this wasn't the disaster I thought it would be.

With all due respect, I'd much rather have a Miller Chill than a Bud.

Yoni said...

We always forget to place beers in their appropriate categories. An American light lager is brewed to have a completely different taste than many of the craft lagers we love so much. It is a macro because it appeals to the masses. Its a light beer, which is a huge trend right now, the lime flavor and higher carbonation give it a relative smoothness and refreshingness compared to a bud light. The point isn't that it is god's gift to beer.
I think the ironic thing here is that Miller Chill has been the most successful launch since Mich Ultra.

Willie Moe said...

1) It seems like you kind of went in not giving this a chance at all, which is not fair to any beer.

2) The opinion of someone purposely drinking Bud carries very little weight as far as what is and isn't good beer.

3) As far as the macros go, Miller is one of the best in the biz.