Monday, December 15, 2008

Wine Snobs Become Bud Geeks!

A Hat Tip to Brookston Beer Bulletin for inspiration...

Let's break down this Budweiser commercial for a moment. Two wine snobs sit at an upscale tavern where the chesty Christine Scott Bennett is tending bar. They are debating as to where their wine comes from. One says, "It tastes like Sonoma Valley," to which the other rebukes, "These grapes are VERY Sierra foothills."

At which point, our dreamy tavern maid jumps in with, "Idaho!"

No, she is not saying that "She [is] da hoe," nor does she have Tourette's. Rather, she begins to explain where the hops in Budweiser -- the Belgian beer company -- are harvested. Idaho, as all beer aficianados can tell you, is the home of "fields of the finest hops known to man." This fact is irrefutable.

But what better way to empirically prove the superiority of Idaho hops than by pouring -- unsolicited, mind you -- two large pilsner glasses filled with Budweiser. (It's an American-style macro lager, for those of you unfamiliar with this Belgian company.)

So dumbstruck and embarrassed are these two pseudo-sommeliers, that they are shamed into purchasing Budweisers for everyone in the bar! Clearly, these men -- because of their appreciation for wine -- are men of class and taste, and probably have high-paying jobs in the private sector which would allow them to afford such an outrageous bar tab. Apparently, they took one look at this exotic yellow beer and decided that it was time to say "enough" to all this stuffy wine talk and get down to a real workingman's drink! (One question, however: why is it that these men would argue about the origins of the grapes in the wine they are drinking, when they could just as easily look on the bottle's label or Google the answer via their BlackBerries?)

A quick cut to the Budweiser logo, with the words "The Great American Lager (Please Drink Responsibly)" and the Rock and/or Roll sounds of Jet's "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" This song represents that the buttoned-up world that these two stagnant males were living in has just been rocked! (Or possibly rolled.)

But just knowing that these men are going on to better drinking isn't enough. You have to watch ... the process. When we return to our wine connois-snores, they are practically obsessed with this stuff! Mr. Sierra Foothills asks Mr. Sonoma Valley if he's "feeling the hops?" Mr. Sonoma replies, "I'm SO-O-O feelin' the hops!" as he wafts the aroma of those bitter hops into his nasal cavity. You know, just like real beer geeks do. Oh, and suddenly there are two comely young blonde lasses who have just sidled up to them. Apparently buying $2.50 beers for the house make a woman swoon. Cut and print!

Thanks Budweiser, for capturing what it's like to be a real beer drinker.


Bojangles said...

There is something scary about those two. How do you think they would do with the hops in, say, a Hop Devil? Or Hop Wallop, Hopback Amber, Hop Juice, Hoppe, Hop Along Cassidy, Hop on Pop, Sam Adams Lager... anything with SOME hops in it! My head may explode. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! How does InBev-AB run those ads and then try to schill Michelob stuff at the same time?

Willie Moe said...

Wait! Hold the phone here! Someone actually FEEL hops in a Budweiser? What do they use, like a hop per beer? My mind has been blown!

Bill said...

Less than that since the hop shortage.

I want to know how you can "feel" hops with your olfactory glands? When he finally took a sip, did the guy say "are you hearing that rice-and-corn-based malt?"