WHAT'S CZECHOSLOVAKIAN FOR ALCOHOLIC WATER?

Why that would be Pilsner Urquell of course! Yes that's right the original pilsner, the beer that changed how the world sees beer! This was the first ever pilsner, and every pils, pilsner, or pilsener is in some way formulated from the original recipe passed down through the ages from the gang at good ol' Pils-Urq. Now, while it is tempting to start rattling off an ode to the pilsner style, I will refrain. No, I will not wax poetically about the wonder of Beck's or the magnificence of Heineken. No, no I will not. Why? Because, as tempting as it is to rattle on and on about the glory Saaz noble hops, this post is not about pilsners, and the magic within them. No, no, this is about THE pilsner, Pilsner Urquell.

The Pils-Urq is offered in a shiny green bottle, with a label that screams, "CLASS!" Elegant and inviting, the bottle wisks you away to the old time Czech Republic, and it never felt so right. Nice lookin' label, nice lookin' bottle, so far, so good. Unfortunately that is roughly where the good times end. Because now it's time to open her up and go in for the real thing.

It pours a brilliantly clear straw color, that brings you back to a simpler time, when men were men, and women couldn't vote. Yes and don't you worry your pretty little heads, you can see right through it! And if you put it over a piece of paper with writing, it can actually act as a magnifying glass. Take that Guinness!

Now, as any beer drinker worth his weight in hops would, I go in for the smell. Now when the aroma of this particular brew first hits the nostrils, it becomes readily apparent to the drinker why the initials of this beer are P.U. It's like they threatened Pepe Le Pew before each new batch, to get that crisp skunky smell just right. Cause at Pilsner Urquell they raise and frighten only the finest skunks to in all of Eastern Europe. Well, I won't lie, too often that is, but the smell did not have me that ecstatic about goin' in for the taste. But I did, for you, my loyal reader.

Surprisingly the skunkiness was not as prevalent in the taste as it was the smell, and my mouth couldn't have been happier! Well, I mean it could've been happier, if I was drinking, say, Anchor Liberty Ale or any other beer I enjoy, but you get the pitcher. It had that hint of bitterness you'd expect, with a hint of I believe, hydrogen and oxygen. But the hydrogenity seemed like it may have been about twice as much as the oxygenacity in there. Yes, definitely two hydrogens for every oxygen or so. It almost feels like you're being hydrated? The taste was fairly bland, but the "P to the U" does have some subtle malty undertones, and will prick your tongue as it passes through, but overall it does not have a strong taste about it. It won't stand out in a crowd, if you know what I'm saying.

So, is it drinkable? Sure. Would I go out of my way to track down more for my private stock? Probably not. I mean although it is the original pilsner, I don't think it has any other beers in "Czech", as it were. I would rate this okay to drink if you are surrounded by skunks and need to make them think you are one of their own. Or I guess if you are surrounded by "Czechs" and need to make them think you are one of their own. Either way. Now, it's off to find out what exactly is Yugoslavian for alcoholic water.

Bottoms Up
Willie 3:16